The last few weeks I've really started to feel more like a mattress/climbing apparatus/plaything than a woman. My body is being used by small children 24 hours a day. Koen sleeps on me, eats on me, rests on me, plays on me and Bodhi enjoys the not-so-occasional climb on my back while I'm nursing and bounce on my feet while I'm "resting". My impatience with my lack of personal space has been growing and growing, until last night. I climbed into bed for the 100+ time with Koen in my arms, lay his head on my shoulder and looked directly into his little eyes. He looked at me and gave me a big smile, as he always does, before drifting off to sleep. In that moment I wouldn't have taken my body back for anything. When I woke up this morning I heard Bodhi's waking up noises in his room and even though Koen was playing happily in his crib and I was sporting a child-free body, I couldn't help but go into his room and lift his big body up into my arms. He squirmed after a while of cuddling but I just wanted to keep holding on .
I can't believe how lucky I am to have two boys who love to cuddle - imagine if ALL I had was personal space? I would miss their little bodies like crazy! In time they will want to sleep on their own, play on their own and climb on each other instead of me, so for now I will take what I can get. It's all about perspective.
