Growing up

I just took one look at Koen and can't believe how suddenly he looks so grown up. I can see a glimmer of "little boy" in there, the baby is already starting to fade. This gives me very mixed emotions. I have spent so much of Koen's first year (which is almost up!) waiting for him to learn, develop and grow and although I savoured in the little moments when I could, I think I may have let it all skate by a little bit. Koen is my last baby. After Koen there will be no more pregnancies, no more breastfeeding, no more diaper changes and no more midnight snuggles. This does make me feel a little sad (even though I know I still have many months ahead of me with the feeding, changing, and snuggling). On the other hand, I still can't wait for more learning and developing. I can't wait for Koen and Bodhi to really be able to play together, for us to spend more time together as a family, and for all of the Christmases and birthdays and holidays that lie ahead of us. My last little boy is growing up and will soon no longer be a baby. He'll walk and talk and play soccer and swim like his big brother. He'll go to school and he'll make friends and he'll sit up at the table. He'll help me bake muffins and he'll ask me for snacks incessantly. He'll still make huge messes but he'll be able to help me clean them up and he'll be able to answer me when I tell him I love him. And maybe someday soon he'll stop putting EVERYTHING in his mouth.

For now, though, I will enjoy my Koen, who is still (and will always be) my little baby.